Friday, November 19, 2004


First: Click on the title and read the story.

This may be one of the scariest things the internet has yet produced. Last I checked, eating disorders were still ravishing diseases that attacked both mind and body. I'm figuring the last thing an untreated anorexic needs is someone to tell them to keep up the good work.

"But what worries doctors is that the sites often encourage girls to embrace their disease, to lose even more weight, rather than seek treatment. Some of the sites describe themselves as 'pro-choice' or 'pro-tolerant,' and have names like 'The Thin Page,' 'Starving for Perfection' and 'Ana by Choice'."

You know, when I first heard about this, I thought it was just a really sick joke. Well, I had it partially right I guess. It's just really sick. Anorexia is not a "lifestyle" it is not a "choice" and it should not be "tolerated." It is a debilitating and at times fatal disease that is treatable. By encouraging people with eating disorders to "embrace" their conditions, these sites are keeping them from ever seeking treatment. It's like telling someone who's just discovered a growth to embrace their cancer. You don't embrace it. You get rid of it in any way you can before it literally eats you alive. Anorexia will do the same thing. When you don't provide your body with any nutrition, your body starts by eating away at the fat, and when it's done with fat it starts eating muscles and organs.

That doesn't even begin to take into account the damage it does to your mind. An eating disorder can be caused by any number of factors, but they all have one thing in common: self-loathing. I don't care who you are or where you're from or what you've done, self-loathing is not healthy.

Various "tips" I found in a quick browse of some of these sites:

"Make yourself nauseas! You won't eat!"

"Don't eat/drink anything that is a red color. When vomiting, in some cases bleeding may occur and you won't know if it's serious, or just what you ate/drank."

"Check the fridge when nobody else is around. Find foods that you would have eaten and get rid of them, for example, three eggs and a piece of butter. Then if someone asks, you can say you had scrambled eggs and are really full. And if they check, the ingredients are gone, which reinforces your story. Consider dishes and silverware as well. "

"With the exceptions of days 1-5, particulary day 3, fasting is not nearly as difficult as one might imagine (In fact, after day 10, quite pleasurable)."

What is wrong with our culture that we make people think starving themselves will make them beautiful? That fasting and purging is a valid lifestyle choice? That size zero is something to strive toward? Don't get me wrong -- if your body is a size zero and you have a *healthy* diet and excercize plan, more power to you, but it is not an attainable goal for 99% of the women out there. I am not ashamed to say that I am a size 10. I am comfortable with being a 10. I could probably stand to loose a pound or two, but it isn't worth harming my body over. I really wish Hollywood and Vogue and the like would move away from the waif look. It obviously isn't projecting a healthy image.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

It's not all about me!

I read this today,and it made me realize something. Many of you know that Moose has been looking for a new job lately as the company he works for is likely going under. We have been specifically been praying that he find one before the end of this month so that he won't have to go on a business trip to California and leave me here alone. I don't do well when he is gone. Having never lived alone, I find it impossible to sleep without anyone else in the house. I become a nervous bundle of panic and stay up all night watching TV with every light in the place on and my cell phone in hand just in case someone cuts the phone lines and then breaks into the house. Overactive imagination? No... not me! But Bryan over at Spare Change made me realize the very same thing he realized in Alamogordo. It's not about me! So, I have a new prayer request. Please pray that Moose will find the job God wants him to be in, and that it will come in God's time, not ours, and He will grant me the courage to lean on Him while Moose is away if the business trip happens as currently scheduled. Oh, yeah, and that THIS TIME the lesson will sink in, 'cause it obviously hasn't so many times before...

Note: Link should now be working. Sorry!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Unconcious Mutterings

  1. Small Talk:: Meaningless
  2. Evidence:: Crime
  3. Drifting:: Raft
  4. Hostage:: Killer
  5. Beauty:: Mirror
  6. Automatic:: Easy
  7. Asking for it:: Sibling
  8. Visene:: Allergies
  9. No strings attached:: What's the catch?
  10. Frizz:: HAIR

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Bun-Girl and Grumpamoose in Russia (It's about time!)

Russia was certainly one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I have trouble writing about it I think, because I don't think I can ever really do it justice, but I'm gonna try anyway.

Most people probably expect the story to start at an airport, but for me, the real journey began long before that. I think one of the most significant things I took from the whole experience began with a letter. To be honest, I didn't even write the support letters. Chris did. I mostly just edited. We sent them out to friends and family, and began to pray that God would honor our commitment to His work in Russia by providing the means for the trip. It was a lot of money to raise, and we didn't have a dime to spare, so I was at least a little worried about how we would be able to raise all of it. At first we got some pretty bad reactions to our request for support. People who I had thought would be excited for us were actually offended by the request for help. It was pretty disheartening, but I held on to the thought that if God wanted us in Russia, He'd find a way to send us there. Then the support started coming in, and wow did it ever! I couldn't believe the generosity of some of our friends. We got funds from some very unexpected places, and prayer from all sides. By the time we were ready to leave Dallas, it was pretty much all there. It was really amazing to see how God was there even when I began to doubt and how He provided so much more than I ever had hoped for.

The trip over there was mostly uneventful, unless you count turbulence... there was plenty of that. We arrived in Ekaterinberg on Saturday night with 6 out of 7 pieces of luggage, but Phil's caught up with him by the end of the day Sunday. On Sunday, we got to spend some time with the members of the year-round team that Darin leads, and we also got a brief tour of the city. Every day of the week we went to one of the primary schools or universities in the city to speak with the students. There is a law in Russia that says that you can't try to convert a minor without their parents' permission, so we couldn't really talk much about God while we were in the primary schools. I was unquestionably impressed by the students we met. It seems like the Russian students work so much harder than their American counterparts. They were amazing! These kids knew more about America than most of us did I think!

In the evenings we got down to doing the real work of our mission. Basically our part was to introduce students to the Compas organization. (Compas is the international branch of Campus Crusade -- apparently some parts of the world aren't entirely comfortable with the word "crusade." Go figure!) Four days of the week we broke out into pairs and got to teach English to groups of university students using parables from the Bible. Our group was pretty open and willing to talk about spiritual matters and both Chris and I got a really strong feeling that the Spirit was working on some of these kids. I hope and pray that they will continue to attend the Compas meetings and will eventually make their own life-changing decisions.

Thursday night we got to attend the Compas meeting. It was so incredible to be able to worship together despite the language differences. The team played a video from a Stephen Curtis Chapman concert that Moose and I actually had attended a couple of years ago. The clip played was called "Beyond the Gates"and it is the power story of the Nate Saint and the group of missionaries who were killed in South America and the story of how the family of two of the slaughtered missionaries went back to the tribe who had killed their loved ones and introduced them to the love of Christ. It is a really moving story which has been made into a movie. Check out the site for more info. Anyway, long story short, the story really got to me the first time I saw it, and it got to me again that evening in Russia. Since I'm still not sure what exactly God wants me to take from this particular bit of history, I'm sure it will come up again at some point.

The most difficult part of the trip by far was when we had to say goodbye to our class and our helpers Friday night. I wish I could have spent a month instead of a week there, but all good things must come to an end, so we went our separate ways. I hope that we can go back next year, but even if not, the people we met in Russia will always have a special place in my heart.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Russian story update

Ok, I know I've been promising to post my thougths on Russia for several weeks now (my how the time does fly!), and I have been working on it. The problem is that I was hoping to post a day-by-day, event-by-event account of my week in Ekat, but there are some fairly big gaps in my memory. (Can you be senile at 24?) So, since I still can't remember several things, and the memories aren't getting any fresher with age, I have now scrapped what I was originally going to post, and I will be writing a shorter, less detailed synopsis. I will be posting this at some point tomorrow, since I'll be home all day. (financial institutions get the greatest holidays!) Soo... if there's anything specific you'd all like me to talk about, leave it in the comments here, and I'll try to include it!

Monday, November 01, 2004

I'm back

Ok, I think this week I am finally back among the living. I've learned my lesson: don't go back to work on Monday if you're flying in from Europe on Sunday! Anywho, I had planned to give you a run-down on my week in Russia, day by day, event by event, and I will still be doing this, but it's taking some time to write, so here's this week's installment of Unconscious Mutterings in the meantime:

  1. Right now:: Van Halen
  2. Halloween:: Costume
  3. Provider:: Insurance
  4. Rescue me:: Madonna
  5. Confidence:: I'm Confident of This Very Thing
  6. Fungus:: Mushrooms
  7. Candy corn:: Autumn
  8. Reunion:: Class
  9. Winner:: Prize
  10. Tradition:: Fiddler on the Roof

It seems I am very musically minded today... enjoy!

Verse of the Day